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i_amoeba Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in the "i_amoeba" journal:
October 4th, 2005
08:35 pm

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new goal
I've decided I'm going to run the 2006 Chicago Marathon. I've got a year to train. This is going to be the mental and physical challenge that I need to get myself in the necessary shape to lead a healthy life.

Current Mood: accomplished

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September 29th, 2005
10:04 pm

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neo
I went to neo on friday and "re-found" myself. SWISH

would it be so horrible to go alone tonight? I've always wanted to go on a Thursday and its the only place i really feel safe going alone.

i already warned B that i might go and he said to be careful. I only have training tomorrow so i guess its ok if ia m tired. ( or would it be worse trying to stay alert for training if exhausted)

*sigh*

i am so lonely

Current Mood: lonely

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September 7th, 2005
10:13 pm

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it's time again
I am struggling to come to terms with some things from my past....

I had a good weekend, but bad memories were brought up and I am having a tough time getting past it...

It calls for self forgiveness and the fact that yes I let it happen due to my own naivity, but I DID get out, so it could be worse.

I have horrible images of blood and pain.

And I found my old poems with lines like "Remove the knife that stabs my heart; I'm already dead"

*sigh*

Current Mood: depressed

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February 27th, 2005
06:19 pm

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forum/bday
So Last night we went to NEO to celebrate my 25th birthday.

Good times!! A little "drama" at the end, but its resolved now to my knowledge.

I created a forum. Join! Tell your friends!
http://alsocon.8.forumer.com/index.php

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January 30th, 2005
09:54 pm

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not nice
Someone I care for deeply agreed that I am not a nice person....

I was told "You can be nice sometimes" "In general, you are not a nice person, but that's ok b/c that is who you are."

Ummm..... yeah. I feel like shit. awesome.

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08:43 pm

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more self evaluation
How did these anger problems start? Why do they happen? How can they stop?

I need to search deep within myself to find the answers to these questions.

Self discovery and be frightening.

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06:37 pm

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i_anger
I kept telling myself I'd start this journal when the time felt right. I was hoping to start it on a positive note, but unfortunately the timing is just too, too right.

I need to have a period of self-improvement. I have problems with anger. I have had these problems for awhile and then come and go, but every so often something really bad will go down and I need the kick in the ass reminder.

In college I used to wear certain pieces of jewelry to remind myself to keep the anger in check. The frist one I gave to a friend. I shouldnt have- it was giving a way something I had earned to myself. The second one didnt have the right feeling so a ditched it.

Now I need something again. I dont care what it is. Maybe it should be something ugly. (even uglier than the anger.)

I need to exercise more, and gain more respect for myself and others. I need this journal again. I need to sort out what I am going through.

And on that note, I resign.

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