i_amoeba
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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in the "i_amoeba" journal:
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08:35 pm
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new goal
I've decided I'm going to run the 2006 Chicago Marathon. I've got a year to train. This is going to be the mental and physical challenge that I need to get myself in the necessary shape to lead a healthy life.
Current Mood:  accomplished
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10:04 pm
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neo
I went to neo on friday and "re-found" myself. SWISH
would it be so horrible to go alone tonight? I've always wanted to go on a Thursday and its the only place i really feel safe going alone.
i already warned B that i might go and he said to be careful. I only have training tomorrow so i guess its ok if ia m tired. ( or would it be worse trying to stay alert for training if exhausted)
*sigh*
i am so lonely
Current Mood:  lonely
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10:13 pm
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it's time again
I am struggling to come to terms with some things from my past....
I had a good weekend, but bad memories were brought up and I am having a tough time getting past it...
It calls for self forgiveness and the fact that yes I let it happen due to my own naivity, but I DID get out, so it could be worse.
I have horrible images of blood and pain.
And I found my old poems with lines like "Remove the knife that stabs my heart; I'm already dead"
*sigh*
Current Mood: depressed
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06:19 pm
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forum/bday
So Last night we went to NEO to celebrate my 25th birthday.
Good times!! A little "drama" at the end, but its resolved now to my knowledge.
I created a forum. Join! Tell your friends!
http://alsocon.8.forumer.com/index.php
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09:54 pm
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not nice
Someone I care for deeply agreed that I am not a nice person....
I was told "You can be nice sometimes" "In general, you are not a nice person, but that's ok b/c that is who you are."
Ummm..... yeah. I feel like shit. awesome.
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08:43 pm
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more self evaluation
How did these anger problems start? Why do they happen? How can they stop?
I need to search deep within myself to find the answers to these questions.
Self discovery and be frightening.
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06:37 pm
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i_anger
I kept telling myself I'd start this journal when the time felt right. I was hoping to start it on a positive note, but unfortunately the timing is just too, too right.
I need to have a period of self-improvement. I have problems with anger. I have had these problems for awhile and then come and go, but every so often something really bad will go down and I need the kick in the ass reminder.
In college I used to wear certain pieces of jewelry to remind myself to keep the anger in check. The frist one I gave to a friend. I shouldnt have- it was giving a way something I had earned to myself. The second one didnt have the right feeling so a ditched it.
Now I need something again. I dont care what it is. Maybe it should be something ugly. (even uglier than the anger.)
I need to exercise more, and gain more respect for myself and others. I need this journal again. I need to sort out what I am going through.
And on that note, I resign.
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